God Carries Me

Alice Edge • May 17, 2020

John 14:15-21

To understand where this passage sits in the grand scheme of things, we need to time travel a bit to before Easter. Jesus and his disciples have just finished the “Last Supper” in which Jesus exposes Judas as the person who will betray him. Judas leaves, dinner finishes up, and Jesus begins teaching. And this teaching is the precursor to Jesus being arrested and crucified. 

So, Jesus begins teaching, and, as seems to be tradition a lot of the time, is interrupted by Peter, who Jesus then says will betray him three times. So not a great start, but once that’s dealt with, Jesus seems to find his rhythm and goes on uninterrupted. 

I like to think about this almost final teaching time of Jesus as almost the Sermon on the Mount 2.0. When people quote Matthew, they tend to quote out of the Sermon on the Mount. When people quote John, apart from John 3:16, the verses are out of these few chapters before his arrest. We’ve got, “I am the way, the truth and the life…,” Jesus being the true vine, love one another as I have loved you, there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends, if the world hates you, remember it hated me first, and then a hope moment of sadness being turned into joy. And in the middle of all of that, we find this passage about Jesus sending the Holy Spirit. 

Jesus knows what is coming. He knows that it’s going to be a really scary time. One of his disciples has already left to betray him. Another is going to multiple times before sunrise. The others will be scattered all around the place, turned against one another, have to go into hiding out of fear, and worst of all, see their best friend and their hope and their God killed by their leaders. So, Jesus’ last message to his disciples becomes a message of comfort and of hope. It’s an attempt to prepare them for what’s to come, almost without trying to cause panic. 

And so, we come to this little passage in the midst of all of that. Jesus promising the Holy Spirit, the advocate, the comforter, for when times are going to get inevitably harder. Jesus knew that he wouldn’t be there in the flesh for them but wanted them to know they weren’t going to be alone, no matter what life threw at them. And they would know the Holy Spirit because they knew Jesus. They know what to look for and what to expect, because what they know the characteristics of Jesus. They knew that the Holy Spirit was good and trustworthy, and most of all, was love. The same love that Jesus displayed, so would the Holy Spirit. In the darkest of their moments, the Holy Spirit, or on a broader level, God, would not leave them. Not having Jesus there could leave them feeling so alone and scared and abandoned. But when they experienced the Holy Spirit, which is something that we will look at more in a couple of weeks at Pentecost, all feelings of fear and abandonment disappear. Instead, the Holy Spirit brought them together in unity. 

And yet, when we continue reading through the rest of the story, past Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection, we see disciples who forget this promise, this Sermon on the Mount 2.0, that was intended to bring comfort in these hard times that Jesus predicted. And this is the point I want to get to today: How many times do we forget the comfort and the lesson we’ve been taught when times get tough? 
Now, truth moment, I do this all the time. I, thankfully, have a God that has proved will not abandon me over and over again. Unfortunately, I also have a God that created me to be a bit slow to learn these kinds of lessons. God can absolutely take the blame on that one. The second things get really hard and hit the fan, my first question seems to be, “Where is God in all this?” “I can’t feel God so obviously God has checked out for a bit?” When I’m in a good headspace and things are going right in my life, I can recognise that these questions are invalid, as I can look back or forward and know that God has been or will be there in the midst of it all.

But in the midst of the yucky moments, in the deepest parts of my sadness or grief or anger or feelings of injustice at what I see around me or what is happening to me, I really struggle to find God. And, at my worst, this led me to completely losing my faith. I spent so long in not being able to feel or see God, I felt so abandoned, and had so much awful stuff happening around me that IF there was a God, he was done with me for sure. If God was around, all this awful stuff wouldn’t be happening. It just wouldn’t be.

But after a few years, I slowly started making my way back to church and the idea of God, and slowly learnt as I healed that it wasn’t God orchestrating all the stuff that was happening to me. What this passage teaches me, and what I’ve seen confirmed in my own life, is that in the hard times, God is with me through them. I struggle with the Footprints poem analogy for a lot of my struggles, because I don’t feel that God has carried me through. I feel like a lot of the time, I’ve had to drag myself through super deep sand with my heavy backpack. But looking back, and when I can in the moment, I look up and see God next to me each time. Sometimes holding my hand, sometimes sitting quietly as I catch my breath, and sometimes maybe carrying my backpack.

Here is what I love most. When we read about this happening with the disciples, with Jesus promising the Holy Spirit as their advocate and comforter so they’d never be alone, this has been my experience, too. Which means it can be, and IS, the same for everyone. None of us are left alone, no matter how alone we feel, because Jesus promised the Holy Spirit and we see that promise fulfilled. Each one of us walks each day, regardless of how good or how completely awful it is, with a companion that will never leave us alone. As it was with the disciples, that, too, is our comfort.

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This is an interesting Psalm – another psalm of ascent. We spoke about these Psalms of Ascent a few weeks ago. They were songs the Jewish people sang as they made their way to Jerusalem to go to the temple, through the forest, along the tracks, camping by the roads. And I believe songs like this kept them focussed and kept their spirits up. I can imagine days of walking together, tiring, boring, hot and dusty. And singing some of these Psalms keep them focussed on the faithfulness of God. Much better then eye spy for the kids. Journeys are not all their cracked up to be even if the destination is worth it. As you know, when I was growing up we always holidayed at Bawley Point past Ulladulla, and in those days it was about a 4 hour drive from Sydney. We always left later than we meant to…and the last 20 mins was on a dirt road. One year when I was probably about 4 years old it was dark by the time we got to the dirt road, and half way along the dirt road, was a dodgy wooden bridge over a river. I think part of the bridge had been damaged and we had to wait a bit in the pitch black darkness before we could proceed. Dad was out with a torch ensuring the bridge was safe to drive on and mum and us 4 kids were sitting in the darkness – no street lights, no moonlight. Of course, you might be able to guess what I said to mum in that car, with fearful crying…you’ve probably heard it from kids before. I said ‘I want to go home’. Mum said to me, ‘we can’t go home Robyn, we’re almost there’. In truth, after the bridge we had the last 10 minutes of a 4 hours journey left. We safely crossed the bridge and we were OK. But I remember it. I remember the feeling of being scarred in the darkness. I remember not liking this journey at all. Even though I always loved the destination. Well this psalm celebrates the end of the journey and the arrival at the destination. Psalm 126:1-3, “When the Lord brought back his exiles to Jerusalem, it was like a dream! We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, “What amazing things the Lord has done for them.” Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!” Before we can understand the laughter and joy of the Israelites, we have to understand their journey. This Psalm looks back to when they arrived back in Jerusalem after 70 long years in Babylon. The captives had experienced great sorrow and mourning in exile. We read these heartbreaking words in Psalm 137: “Beside the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept as we thought of Jerusalem. We put away our harps, hanging them on the branches of poplar trees. For our captors demanded a song from us. Our tormentors insisted on a joyful hymn: “Sing us one of those songs of Jerusalem!” But how can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a pagan land?” (Psalm 137:1-4). Their tormentors demanded they sing joyfully, but they were like – that’s impossible, it doesn’t come from our heart. So they just sat by the waters of Babylon and wept. But now by an amazing work of God they were suddenly back in Jerusalem. And so their joy came from their heart. The wait was over, the journey was complete. “We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy.” The journey is the hard bit though isn’t it? I was reminded of this, this week. An Officer couple I was speaking to, said that their teenager said some very hurtful things to them. Stuff like, ‘you make my life worse’. As they spoke to me, I did very little but listen and pray with them. They do have other supports in their life as well, already seeing a psychologist. But what I was thinking in my head as they were speaking was ‘oh the teenage years, I’d forgotten them’. Though we have 2 wonderful young adults in P and K, they were times when it was more than tense. K wears her heart on her sleeve, and to this day apologises for some of the things she said to me. And P, you wouldn’t know what he was thinking, and then all of a sudden all his thoughts and feelings for the last 3 years would come out like molten lava everywhere. A few days later I checked in to see how the couple and their teenager were going. I mentioned in passing about teenage years and very briefly about our experiences. I didn’t want to make it all about me. But I said teenage years can be painful and those years can really hurt everyone in the family. Teenager included. They know that we have a good relationship with P and K and they said to me, you know, this is helpful. It gives us hope. I was like, yep, this too shall pass. Because when you’re in the midst of the journey of pain and sorrow, you sometimes wonder if there’s light at the end of the tunnel. If you’ll laugh again or experience joy again. You begin to wonder, “Is this all that God has for me? Will I ever be happy again?” And here’s the promise in Psalm 126:4-6, “Restore our fortunes, Lord, as streams renew the desert. Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.” When you are going through a time of deep sorrow, Psalm 126 is strong medicine for your soul. It carries a powerful message of hope. It tells you that times of trouble and sorrow do not last. It tells you that God will turn your sorrow to joy and your tears to laughter. If you are going through a challenging time right now, I pray that this psalm will speak to your heart this morning. Let me tell you right up front, whatever you’re going through, it will get better. God will change your tears to joy. This week I found something I wrote about 10 years ago. I had written it on a piece of paper and there was a whole reflection about my life. At the time we had my mum living with us, she had dementia, and mostly I remember the good times and the fun times with her. I was also the Corps Officer at Glebe and Bob was the manager at William Booth House. After a page of writing I had written something like this “I’m often anxious, I’m usually stressed, I have eczema on my eyelids and ulcers in my mouth. I always feel pressed.” I went out to Bob in the lounge room and I’m like, ‘oh my goodness, eczema on my eyelids and ulcers in my mouth’, often anxious, usually stressed. The thing is, my life feels a long way from that now, and I’d forgotten what that part of my journey felt like. I’m sure when I was there I couldn’t look ahead and see a time of joy…but the truth is that “Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.” This too shall pass. ‘Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!’ says verse 3. God is faithful – he does the healing, the restoring, he brings the streams in the desert that renews and brings fruitfulness. I don’t need to tell you – it takes time. Today, I’m praying for a work of healing in your life, a gradual restoration of joy, of laughter. Like me as a kid, sometimes we don’t like parts of this journey at all. Even though we know our destination is good. And ultimately, we have a destination like no other and that’s the promise of God. A home in heaven made possible through Jesus. May God bless you this week as you look to Him, listen to Him, find your hope in Him and find courage and healing in your journey.
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